December 14, 2019

Since birth, I have been handled 



When to rest, eat, be

Even as an adult I follow the map 

The one laid by my upbringing

I have played and experimented

But the deeply worn ruts call me back

Back to my conditioning 


I now give myself permission to be 

Be with darkness

Purposefully retreat to 

Slowed to imperceptible breath 


I need this more than I’ve given credit to

Caving is a means of restoration for my being-ness

I feel most myself after resting in the dark 


I no longer ignore the primal call for this need 

To be tended 

The noise of this world drives me to my borders 

I pace myself into my stillness 


Remembering the sacredness of reconnection

Of the walled allegory

I decorate the rolling structures not with force 

Or friction 

Simple noticing 


Where do I place the next color



Which part of my cavern is asking 

For gentle attention


I lay here feeling into 

An echoed response 

Then, only then, do I add 

A new decor 

To my heartened cosmology


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