Darkened

Since birth, I have been handled

Placed

Told

When to rest, eat, be

Even as an adult I follow the map

The one laid by my upbringing

I have played and experimented

But the deeply worn ruts call me back

Back to my conditioning

I now give myself permission to be

Be with darkness

Purposefully retreat to

Slowed to imperceptible breath

I need this more than I’ve given credit to

Caving is a means of restoration for my being-ness

I feel most myself after resting in the dark

I no longer ignore the primal call for this need

To be tended

The noise of this world drives me to my borders

I pace myself into my stillness

Remembering the sacredness of reconnection

Of the walled allegory

I decorate the rolling structures not with force

Or friction

Simple noticing

Where do I place the next color

Texture

Imprint

Which part of my cavern is asking

For gentle attention

I lay here feeling into

An echoed response

Then, only then, do I add

A new decor

To my heartened cosmology

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