Darkened

Since birth, I have been handled

Placed

Told

When to rest, eat, be

Even as an adult I follow the map

The one laid by my upbringing

I have played and experimented

But the deeply worn ruts call me back

Back to my conditioning

I now give myself permission to be

Be with darkness

Purposefully retreat to

Slowed to imperceptible breath

I need this more than I’ve given credit to

Caving is a means of restoration for my being-ness

I feel most myself after resting in the dark

I no longer ignore the primal call for this need

To be tended

The noise of this world drives me to my borders

I pace myself into my stillness